Thoughts: A Real Pain

As R.E.M painfully put it, “everybody hurts sometimes;” so it can often be hard to identify what real pain is, comparatively. This is the central narrative that writer/director/star Jesse Eisenberg seeks to explore in A Real Pain, which recently earned a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor for his co-star Kieran Culkin. The duo are cousins who reunite for a tour through Poland to honor their recently passed grandmother, but they become at odds with each other as old tensions resurface through their shared experiences but different perspectives. At times the film treats itself like a comedy with the pair bickering about past events or how they take different approaches to the tour groups’ dynamics; other times it leans more on the dramatic side as past pains reveal themselves to reveal the complicated nature of family.

I enjoyed the banter between Eisenberg and Culkin, as they represent two different paths of adulthood: high-strung Eisenberg, who has the stable job, family, and lifestyle, and Culkin as the carefree, easygoing adventurer who still lives at home. At times it did feel like it was clearly Eisenberg’s voice coming out of both of them (which tends to happen when you also write the film), but Culkin was able to make himself stand out in the tender moments of the tour. He has a clear knack for understanding the performance Eisenberg wants and isn’t afraid to take those notes and run with them throughout the film. Just Culkin alone is a delight to watch in this, even if you can tell it’s not his voice in the words he’s speaking.

Now we have to talk about the heart of the film, which is identifying, empathizing, and relating to different types of pain. The Poland tour the film guides us on challenges our perception of pain throughout history. Each person on the tour has different reasons for being there, but they all have a common bond, in that they have recently experienced personal traumas that are revealed slowly through the film. These modern day pains are juxtaposed against the more historically significant pains as the tour guides them through Poland’s history of violence, uprising, and suppression. 

Yes, the tour focuses on the Holocaust, where everyone’s current pains are slammed head first against a devastating tragedy that millions suffered through. It’s here where the film loses me as it almost seems to belittle individual pain compared to worldwide suffering. This isn’t the only time in the film it does this, as Culkin’s character brings it up two other times prior to this moment. Eisenberg’s script does its best to balance between empathizing with individual pain while losing that battle to wider pains which most people choose to ignore because it can be very humbling to let those emotions consume you. Those two different ideologies on how to deal with pain reach its climax on a roof in Poland between the two cousins as they prepare to take their tour lessons learned back home to, hopefully, a better environment. 

A Real Pain isn’t a casual watch as the film wants you to pay attention and identify pains in your own life, or those around you, so that you can become a better person. It’s not a particularly fun time, but does have its moments of levity to balance the harder themes it pushes. I think had Kieran Culkin not won the Golden Globe, I would have passed completely on this film and not particularly felt like I was missing out on something monumental. Your mileage may vary with this film.